That feels better!

 I must be honest and tell you that I did not intend to take a 5 month break from the ol' blog, it kind of just happened that way.

 At first it was merely a time thing. In August, my son played "Charlie" in a community production of Willy Wonka. During that time, and the three months before, I lived and breathed Willy Wonka. I was running lines, singing songs, driving my little star to and from practices, and being an equal mixture of exceedingly proud of him and being exceedingly terrified for him. That last one will take a lot out of you. 

I was busy being mother/manager and no matter how much I wanted to write, when I came home at night, my brain was fried and I just couldn't bring myself to write like I wanted to. My best writing at the time were extensive "to do" lists for the following day that I physically had to make just to be able to shut my brain off long enough to sleep.

And if I am going to be very honest, something else happened about that time: I got incredibly frustrated with the blogging community. It seemed that blogging had changed from writing because I  love to write to blogging as a contest to see how popular I could get or how many sponsors I could acquire or how many followers I had collected on my side bar.  I hated that. I did not want to become that person.

Now, please don't get me wrong. If you are a blogger and you have 15 bazillion followers and the people at Pepsi have purchased you a private jet with your name emblazned on the side to take you to all of your bloggy speaking arrangements so that you can tell other people how blogging has changed your life, that is AMAZING and I admire you for your fabulous writing and content as well as your superior marketing prowess. There is nothing wrong with that.

What felt wrong to me was that I would get online and visit my favorite blogs and instead of coming away inspired or happy or whatever good emotion  I had felt before, I instead leave, thinking to myself, "what in the WORLD am I doing wrong!? All of these people are getting 50 billion page views a day and making enough money to support themselves just by writing! I am CLEARLY doing something wrong."

 I must suck as a writer.
 I SUCK as a writer.
 I SUCK.

And so on.
 That is my long winded blogging boohoo story. I made the mistake of comparing my writing to others. The mistake of comparing my blog to other blogs. I lost interest playing that game. Thankfully, I had Willy Wonka as an excuse to distance myself for a while. One month became two, which became five. I took that time to think about what I really wanted.  I also realized that blogging is not a competition. Not for me, anyway. Not unless I choose to compare myself to others. I write because I love to write. I write because my favorite teacher once made this comment on a story I'd written : 

Katie, this story was a joy to read! I can tell you love to write. Keep it up!

I think I will.

Little Miss Lazy Pants decides to blog.

*Deep Breath*

So, you know how when you're a blogger and you blog regularly and you have semi-consistant dialog back and forth with fabulous people via comments and such and then you stop blogging and then can't find the energy or motivation to restart but you really miss the connections that blogging brings you so you get all frustrated with yourself for being too lazy to even move your fingers across a keyboard and you eat a gallon a pint of ice cream and then your stomach aches and your conscience doesn't feel all that well either and you have no one to blame but yourself?

*whew*

You do?

Yep. That's pretty much my story too.

I am TOTALLY out of blogging shape. 
My next post will be better.
Baby steps.

The Dad Game

As some of you know,  I have never met my real "father". 
While this is an increasingly sad situation for me as I get older and watch my own son grow, I am not all-together broken up about it.

There are some perks to not knowing the true identity of your biological father. One of the best is that you get to play The Dad Game.

I've played The Dad Game for as long as I can remember.
Whenever I see a man who seems like the kind of person that I would want to have as a dad, I add him to my ever growing list. See the list here:  Daddy? or here: Awkward!
88% of the time, these people are celebrities or even American Presidents. Bill Clinton, for example. More often though, they are celebrities playing someone else. On these occasions, the character possesses some positive dad-like quality that makes them good Dad Game candidates.

I point these people out so often that my husband [bless him] has started finding them for me.

 For example, we were watching Tombstone recently when he turned to me and said,

"Katie, I'm pretty sure that both Virgil Earp and Sam Elliot could be your father."

See? Both character and Actor are total dad material.
He was right.

How did I never see that before? It's all so obvious.

Exhibit A:

Now listen here lil' lady. You get that filthy room of yours cleaned before I return from restoring the law to this wild west town using only my deep commanding voice and unwavering fairness, ya hear?

Any dad of mine would totally say that!

Exhibit B:



Incredible mustache



Incredible need to wax.



Resemblance. BAM!

Who needs a DNA test when the pictures speak for themselves?

How could Sam Elliot/ Virgil Earp NOT be my dad?

My husband is like a detective, I swear.

Also, Stanley Tucci.

                                                                          This one.

Not this one.

Dad game = fun.

People of Facebook Part 1

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.
I love that it's such an easy way to stay in touch with friends and family across the globe.
I hate that Facebook has become another way for grown up people to act EXACTLY the way they did in middle school.

There are certain types of personalities that inhabit facebook that make me want to delete my account and never look back.
These people are really jackassy. They bring their real life jack-assery to the digital world. They suck.
Let me introduce just a few.

1. The Twitterer- 

  Sample Status update(s)

PB&J debacle solved. Got Subway instead. Score.
Just now

At the store. All they have is CRUNCHY! :(
2 minutes ago

Damnit! Out of Peanut butter. Better go grocery shopping.
15 minutes ago

Which kind of Jelly to use? Strawberry or Grape? That is the question
17 minutes ago

Yep. Having the PB& J. Is there any better sandwich?
19 minutes ago

I think I want a peanut butter & jelly sandwich for lunch
22 minutes ago

This person thinks that Facebook and Twitter are interchangeable. On Twitter, I can look the other way when people tweet 22 times in a row. On facebook, you're just clogging up my home page. Stop doing that.

2. The lover -

Sample status update

My wonderful husband and my wonderful, beautiful children made me a  fabulous cake from scratch today just because they love me sooo much. I just lovey lovey love LOVE them so much.  I Love you Bob Smith, Kelly Smith, Timmy Smith, baby Smithy Smith and Bobo Smith (the doggy)!  <3 <3

 the lover loves everything, and she loves it all a little too much. She has the most romantic handsome husband, her job is simply amazing and she is so lucky to have it, her kids are the most outstanding children on earth, her dog wouldn't dream of getting fleas, her car shines like a diamond and drives like a dream, her local Walmart has the best service, her mailman is friendly, her Avon sales representative has amazing samples for her to try...everyone in her life is a-maz-ing. She loves to love people and she loves to tell all of her FB friends just how much she loves life. Really. She loves it.
 I hate her.

3. The song quoter-

Sample Status update

Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who? Who?

or possibly-

 All I wanna do in the middle of the evening is hold you tight, Rosanna. Rosanna!

Oh, and thanks for the earworm you jerk.
Related annoying person: The Movie Quoter 

4. Miss Speller & My Poor Gramma(r) -

Sample Status Update

I aint goin to work tamorow I diserve a vaccation guna go shopping insted

 at some point, this adult person must have thought,  "Screw it. Spelling is overrated."-and meant it.

Now, not everyone is a master speller, but spell check that crap.

This goes double for you if you are a teacher and your spelling is atrocious.

5. Death's Doormat-

Sample Status update

I have the worst head cold ever! I think my head is literally going to explode. It feels like my head is being hit by a bus. Repeatedly. I am in SOOOO much pain. And, I think I broke my toe. It huuuuurts soooo bad! It feels like tiny gnomes are poking my toe with tiny sharpened pencils. OUCH!

 this person is always at death's door. They have a cold. The flu. Food poisoning so bad that they can not stop throwing up. And, even considering all the throwing up they are doing, they are still dedicated enough to plunk themselves in front of a computer and tell us this? Ick. Go to bed. I don't want to catch your contagious douchebaggery.

6. The Jonses-

Sample Status update

Just got back from our Bi-annual safari in Africa and in the mail was a great big bonus from work so we went ahead and got that new Lexus I've had my eye on for weeks (yay! Finally!!) Going to drive it around as much as I can before we leave on the yacht for our yearly month long Tahitian vacation at the end of the month. :)

This person has an enormous house in a fabulous gated community, multiple expensive cars,  32 snowmobiles, 12 Jet skis, a yacht, an in-ground swimming pool, pure bred dogs, a perfectly manicured lawn, sparkling jewelry, and goes on the best vacations. Dont believe them? They have pictures (and pictures and more pictures) to prove it.
Especially annoying when these people are relatives. I...uh..hear.

Many MANY more to come in part 2 . 

Who is YOUR least favorite FB personality?